Anxiety

[Beverly Eisen]

Another story.  I too had spent a year planning my walk.  Ruth the Irish
pilgrim shared many good ideas on what to expect on a daily basis.  Where to
stop etc.  I walked alone, my goal to spend May 13, the day my mother died,
going over the Pyrenees.  I did spend my first night at Honto, got a early
start and walked the Mt.  Thank God the weather was beautiful.  It gets cold
and windy at the top.  It took me a good 8 hours but so worthwhile. I must say
I would have been in deep trouble if the weather had changed.  I was alone and
probably would be lost. The mist ,the fog hides the yellow markers. So be
careful.  The advantage of going slow you don't miss much. My anxiety was
increased when I thought where can I go and hide in Europe and pretend to be
walking so my family will not be disappointed in me. That was two days into my
journey. I made it as far as Burgos but had to stop due to tendonitis. I was so
disappointed.  I spent two days thinking, should I skip the mesata take a bus

to Leon and continue or go back to Seattle.  I ended up coming home full of
sadness.  I had big expectations for myself.  I never really had time to relax
and enjoy the towns  I was just too tired.  When I came home my x-husband died
and I was there for my children. One never knows the Plan.  Enjoy each day on
the Camino.  I love my fellow pilgrims who I crossed paths with while on my
journey.  We still keep in touch.  I'll be back.  I won't compare myself with
anyone else. Its my journey. A 56 year old female with the desire and dream of
The Camino I can't wait to get back. The best part I didn't finish, I get to go
back and enjoy  the process .  BEVERLY