Anger

[Kinsey Carpenter]

amen

        -----Original Message----- 
        From: Jilek, Glenn [mailto:Glenn.JilekaFHWA.DOT.GOV] 
        Sent: Mon 12/29/2003 11:46 AM 
        To: GOCAMINOaPETE.URI.EDU 
        Cc: 
        Subject: Anger
	
	

        Thank you Richard for your wisdom.
	
        I have been a bleeding heart, tree hugging, liberal activist since I finished a 4 year stint with the Army in 1972 ... the military during that time was a fertile ground for transformation one way or another.  It became disturbingly clear to me that the "peace and love" groups that I was participating in had a lot of the same anger that they railed against... and it just didn't seem right to me.  I fortunately met some Quakers and some people from an international group called the Fellowship of Reconciliation.  From them I learned what Richard mentioned... that anger is destructive on ALL levels.  You can't work for peace with anger in your heart.  Being human, especially in a culture that seems to look at anger, violence, and revenge as signs of strength, this is not at all an easy task ...but it is an important goal to be aware of.  Now in this last phase of my life, I have come to the conclusion that the most effective thing I can do on a global basis, is just to minimize!
          the anger I myself let loose in the world.
	
        I must admit that it saddens me whenever I see evidence of anger arising in this forum ... it just doesn't seem worthy of what really brought us all here in the first place...The Camino.
	
        Glenn
	
	
        -----Original Message-----
        From: Richard Ferguson [mailto:peregrinoaATT.NET]
        Sent: Monday, December 29, 2003 12:51 PM
        To: GOCAMINOaPETE.URI.EDU
        Subject: More Peace and Love and Politeness
	
	
        I agree completely with Ed's comments about the world, including this list, needing more
        peace and love and tolerance.
	
        I believe that political correctness is often used as a club to attack people who have political
        views other than our own.  Just because someone has different political views does not mean
        that they are a bad person, a racist, or a mindless tool of global capitalism.  (The members of
        this particular list, like many internet groups, probably are more politically left than the public
        at large.  I have noticed that liberals often assume that everyone they are talking to thinks that
        Bush is awful, but polls show that most Americans approve of what he is doing.)  But personal
        attack is not limited to the political left, the right does it as well.  Some commentators have
        wisely decried the rising levels of hostility in politics.  I have seen several commentators claim
        that liberal anger is a key force propelling Dean to the front of the Democratic pack running for
        President.  So maybe this is an angry time in American politics, which sometimes carries over
        into our Camino list.
	
        For some reason, the anonymity of email seems to cause some people to go over the top in
        terms of their postings.  This effect has been known for a long time, often leading to "flames".
        Anyway, think before you post.  If you think it is possible that your posting could be
        considered by anyone a personal attack, sleep on it, and post the next day.  The same applies
        to personal letters sent via the US mail, the difference is that you can often retrieve the
        offending letter before the postman comes!  I do not mean that you should not post your views
        about subjects that matter, just that you really restrain yourself when it comes to any
        commentary about individuals.  Try something like "I cannot agree with so-and-so on this topic,
        I believe....."
	
        Another thing that I have been learning in the last year or so is that many people in society are
        very angry.  This sometimes comes out when people are stressed in their personal life.  I am
        not sure why they are angry, but it carries over into every part of their life, including their email.
        Anger is a destructive force, bad for the angry person and everyone around them, and I feel
        very grateful that I don't suffer from it very often.
	
        As far as angry postings on the listserver, I have a couple of suggestions.  1. Delete them and
        forget it, do not read to the end.  2.  If you feel you must do something, send a private email to
        the author, not one to the whole list, politely saying that you felt that the email was out of line,
        and requesting the person who wrote the offending email to be more polite in the future.  Do not
        click reply and send an email to the whole list.  If you are not sure how to do this, just take a
        pencil and paper, write down the person's email address, and then compose a new message,
        typing in the individual's email address in the address space.  It is a common error to hit reply,
        when a person intended to send a mail to one person rather than 100 people.  If someone is
        really out of control, they may be looking for attention, which replying to the list tends to give
        them, so don't encourage them.  (I agree with Ed that this group has a relatively low incidence
        of impoliteness.  I think that I have only sent one private message of the type I describe above
        in the years that I have been on the list).
	
        Please be polite to your fellow listmembers, and don't amplify the effects of the occasional
        angry posting by angry replies.
	
        Richard
	



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