Didn't quite make it...

[Russ Irwin]

I've been debating for the past two weeks whether to even write here again because I didn't make it
the whole way and am just starting to come to grips with this fact. Now though, I feel that I need
to write this as a sort of "therapy" process for myself. In the end it wasn't my legs that did me in
as they, after the initial sorness and pain, became much stronger. It was my back that did it. After
two weeks of walking with a backpack that just wasn't designed for the job (hindsight is great,
isn't it), my back became so painful that I finally realized that in order to keep from doing
possibly irrepairable harm to it, I had to quit. I did make it to Belorado though which is about 220
Km and over a quarter of the way.

Even considering the problems that I had, I'd do it again in an instant! In ways that I can't
explain in words, I found a fullfillment that I'd never experienced before. Other pilgrims seemed
part of a "family", and you could develope close friendships in just a few hours that might take
months or years to develope in your everyday life. Yes, it was a "way of life" that I didn't want to
give up. I'm already, tentivately, planning on going back next year to pick up where I left off.

I made rough notes of the days that I walked, but only have written out the first day. Since there
seems to be questions here about the walk from St. Jean to Roncesvalles, I hope you don't mind if I
include my first day here in this message. Remember though, this first day is from "my" point of
view:
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Thursday 05/10/2001

I arrived at St. Jean-Pied-de-Port late in the afternoon, eager to begin my pilgrimage. Little did I
know what lay in store for me in the days to come. It was a very long day getting there with the
airline flights and then the taxi rides from Pamplona. I obtained my pilgrims passport, did a little
shopping in town for fruits and bread to eat the next day on the road, and was in my bunk at the
refugio there by 8:00 PM. I fell asleep quickly but woke several times during the night. Finally, by
5:00 AM, I couldn't sleep any longer. I was the first one up so I moved all my things in stages to
the common room upstairs to get my backpack all ready and packed for the first day's journey.

Friday 05/11/2001
23 km

By 6:30 AM, after getting directions for the route I wanted to take the first day (there were two
routes to choose from), I left the refugio and started out. Of course, after about 5 minutes, I
became hopelessly confused on which way to leave the town. I trecked around the little town for the
next 20 minutes until I ran into a group of 3 other pilgrims. They were Priska (Switzerland),
Michael (USA), and Andrei (Canada). Priska said, "Walk with us, we'll find the route.", which we
did. I had read that the first day over the Pyrenees Mountains is the hardest (if you start from St.
Jean). That is so true. We started steep climbs immediately out of St. Jean and I mentioned that
before the day was out that I was going to have a walking staff, even if I had to cut it myself from
a tree. I fell behind a lot on the uphill parts and finally, after almost 5 hours of walking, we
stopped at the only place there was that day for a late breakfast of orange juice, bread, jam and
coffee.

When we continued I was hoping that most of the steep uphills were behind us. Hah! They had just
begun, and by then we were into a fog so thick that usually you couldn't see further than 100 feet
(Supposedly on a clear day you can see for 70 kilometers from one point in the Pyrenees). The fog
lasted most of the day and ruined most chances for pictures I had hoped to take of the otherwise
beautiful mountain landscapes to be seen. Shortly after our break, as I was catching up with the
others, I heard a voice coming out of the fog ahead of me, "Russ, we found your walking stick!"
Andrei had found it just laying along the side of the road. It was more like it found me, and just
at the time when I needed it most. It was just the right size and appeared to have been cut from a
hardwood tree as it was very firm and sturdy. It was to become an invaluable aid to me, not just
this day, but in the days to come, and (as only another pilgrim would understand) my "best friend".
Just when I would think that the uphills were finished, there would be more - and then more! There
were some tantalizing level stretches, but.... All of the walking that I had done in the previous
year was bascially on level ground. I soon realized that I wasn't at all prepared for the steep
climbs.

Sometime in the afternoon we stopped for another break. I had an apple and some chocolate. I was to
eat a lot of both of these in the coming days. The apples for nourishment and the chocolate for an
energy boost.

More steep uphills after the break, but finally we reached the peak of our climb and were on top of
the mountains. We took another break then before the DOWNHILL! Even though I had read about how hard
the downhill off the Pyrenees was, I had been looking forward to it as a break after all the climbs.
Was I ever wrong! Coming down off the Pyrenees is MUCH steeper than the uphill parts, and is VERY
punishing on your feet and legs, especially considering the weight of the backpack you are wearing.
I was glad that I had spent close to 6 months deciding on which shoes, insoles and socks to use. My
feet only hurt afterwards. In an email exchange last winter with a woman who had walked it in 2000,
she said that she completely lost 3 toenails in the downhill off the Pyrenees. Now I totally
understand how that could happen.

Finally, at around 5:30 PM, we arrived at Roncesvalles. It ended up taking 11 hours to hike 23
kilometers. My legs and back were crying for relief. I was exhausted and exhilarated at the same
time. Over the next couple of weeks my legs would evidentially work it all out and become much
stronger, but my back would be a different story. We got our pilgrims' passports stamped and got
bunks at the Pilgrims' Hospital in the Real Colegiate Monastery. This refugio is one of the oldest
on the Camino and was founded in the 12th century. I unpacked what I needed from my backpack and
spread out my sleeping bag on the bunk. While most refugios have pillows (and pillow covers), they
don't have sheets, so you need a sleeping bag, and most refugios require them to sleep in.

This place is supposed to have hot water but I guess that it had run out by the time we got there,
so I had to take a cold shower. Still it felt good. Afterwards we went to the pilgrims' Mass at the
13th century Collegiate Church next door. Then it was time for dinner. In Spain restaurants (which
are usually a part off a bar) don't open till at least 8:00 PM, so the timing worked out well as I
like to eat shortly before I go to bed. In the refugios "lights out" time is 10:00 PM, and that is
when they lock the doors. I never heard anyone complain though, as by that time most (including
myself) were already fast asleep.