Return?

[Gabrielle Milanich]

Ana,

Until I read your question of me not being able to wait until I returned, I
had not really considered the implications of that statement.  Of course I
ONLY meant that interms of being able to join in the more experienced threads
of conversation.   I'm considering the return just as I am the beginning.
Whatever happens, happens.  I'm trying really hard to NOT have any great
expectations.  I've been keeping a journal designated strictly for the range
of feelings I have as my departure looms nearer.  I jsut cannot beign to
explain how many dreams this trip is fulfilling.  It's hard to keep those
dreams from taking over, as they have had many years to brew.

Returns are funny things, however.  You step from one liminal state right
into an entirely different one.  I wonder how long one can live like that?

I would like to ask those of you who have walked more than once...were you
ever let down when the "initiatory" experience wasn't there?  Or were you
able to concentrate on altogether different aspects of the journey.  I am
thinking the Camino is like a building block, whereby each trip builds
another room or another hallway.  And I can't help but associate the journey
to Teresa of Avila's Interior Castle.

I guess if I am honest, that "down-time" frightens me a little.  Once I get
back to the states, I have little to no time to get back down to earth, find
another job, only to leave again in another two months.  I also fear those
times when I have a moment to remember my life on the path.  I fear that
longing.  But you're right.  One has to deal with it, I suppose.

If I remember correctly, you're in Japan, yes?  When will you be returning to
the place you are meant to be?

Much love,
Gabrielle
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