[Granville-Hough] 11 Mar 2009 -

[Trustees for Granville W. Hough]

Date: Wed, 11 Mar 2009 06:12:27 -0800
From: Granville W Hough <gwhough at oakapple.net>
Subject: 11 Mar 2009 - Courtship, Liz-Lish

Lizzie  Lisha Courtship

It is recorded that Lizzie Richardson married Lisha Hough on 11 March 
1911 in the Jim and Mary Richardson home between Mize and Magee, MS. ( 
This home remains in the family as the Travis residence.) There is 
family tradition that there was an extended courtship before the 
marriage. There are also various other family traditions about the 
events leading to the marriage. What follows in this retelling are bits 
and pieces picked up from various people who could remember the events. 
The actual words used are fiction, as I have no way of thinking as 
people did in those pre-1910 times.
(If you want to be absolutely factual, you might try this exercise. You 
and your spouse each separately record all the words and events leading 
up to your betrothal and marriage. Then have some interested third 
party, perhaps a child, read the two accounts. If the child concludes 
the events took place on the same planet, you did quite well with your 
recollections.)
Now, Lisha Hough was head of the Hough household after his father died 
28 Oct 1897. Although not quite 19, he was oldest able male and was 
accepted by the community as head of the family. Because he took 
responsibility for his disabled brother Elijah (Ligie) and younger 
brothers and sisters, people assumed he was actually older than he was. 
He became quite sociable, courted various of his cousins and other young 
women and was expected to marry one of the Myers girls. He later 
explained he had a house full of sisters and brothers to get settled 
before he himself considered marriage. His mother died in 1904 when 
Lisha was 25. It was 1908 to 1910 before he felt free to seek his own wife.
He had contacts with Hough, Walker, Clark, West, Miller, and Sullivan 
cousins; and he was well known in these families. He especially liked on 
Sundays to take his frisky mare Maud on outings to the Baptist churches 
where his cousins worshipped. One favorite trip was to New Sardis 
Baptist Church where his first cousin, Nathan West, son of Uncle 
Reverend Wilson West, was a noted Sunday School teacher. On the way back 
to upper Cohay, he would stop by the Jim Richardson or Henderson 
Sullivan families to visit and pass on news from the Salem Community 
where he had been fellow deacons with Jim Richardson and Henderson 
Sullivan. Sister Tootie Sullivan always had hot coffee for visitors on 
Sunday and Sister Mary Richardson sometimes had fresh pie. Anyone could 
also see the Richardson and Sullivan girls were growing up.
Lizzie recalled that Lisha had first stopped by when she was 16, then 
periodically until she was 21. It seemed that he was visiting the whole 
family, not her in particular. She also knew he visited the Sullivan 
family under similar circumstances. She said she never treated him any 
differently from any other family visitor.
When Lizzie and Martin completed their education at Oak Hill School, 
probably equivalent to grade school, they took exams and got teaching 
credentials. They went into an adjacent county (I recall Neshoba County) 
to teach in a two-teacher school. They boarded with a local family and 
took part in the community affairs. Martin could see that Lizzie was 
very intelligent and a good teacher, but was somewhat ill-at-ease 
socially. Whether they taught one or two years is not clear.
When they returned to their home in Smith County, Jim and Mary 
Richardson listened to all Martin and Lizzie had to say and considered 
their options. Lizzie was tall and strong, but plain. She had none of 
the sexy curves of her sisters. She might become an old maid school 
teacher (with low pay); she might become a permanent nanny for her 
younger siblings; or she might marry a farmer. As for marriage to a 
farmer, who better than Lisha Hough? They knew him well, and he 
apparently had some interest.
Now, Martin had left many friends in upper Cohay, so he tended to 
dominate the conversation when Lisha visited. Grandma Mary had a few 
words with him: When Lisha Hough comes next Sunday, I want you to find 
some place you have to go. I want Lizzie to have a chance to talk with 
him. So Martin says: I see what you have in mind, Ma, but dont you 
think Lisha is too old for Lizzie? So Ma answers rather sharply: Now, 
isnt that for Lizzie to decide? Uncle Martin said, Absolutely, Ma, 
absolutely, that is for Lizzie to decide. Then, as Uncle Martin was 
frequently the leader in teasing his younger siblings, Grandma added, I 
dont want anyone teasing Lizzie about Lisha or old Lisha. Uncle 
Martin, understanding as well as Grandma how sensitive Lizzie was to 
teasing, Ma, it wont be me or anybody else I can stop.
The siblings soon got the idea that when Lisha came, everyone was to pay 
their respects and then let Lizzie do the talking and entertaining. 
Anyone who giggled or said a word about it got a quick look of 
disapproval. Now, Lisha had been in other households where he was viewed 
as a prospective husband. He could sense the change in family attitude. 
He visited every time he could, and he and Lizzie talked about all kinds 
of county, church, and home activities. He realized she was a smart as 
any woman he had ever known, and it no longer occurred to him that she 
was plain.
Now, Lizzie still halfway thought she was doing the entertaining for the 
whole family. She listened patiently while Lisha explained different 
things he planned to do the next year. Then, one day to her great 
surprise, he proposed; and she was not prepared to say yes or no. So she 
delayed and said Lisha would have to ask her Pa and she would have to 
ask her Ma. (Neither was technically or legally correct as she was of 
age and need ask no one.) So Lisha said he would ask her Pa next Sunday, 
and Lizzie could ask her Ma during the week.
When Lizzie reported to Grandma Mary that Lisha had proposed, Grandma 
gave every impression of being greatly surprised. After a few moments, 
she said, And where would you live? Lizzie explained that Lisha had 
rented the Wilkinson house and land (both known to Grandma), and that 
his cattle and hogs were on the Little Cohay open range, with Lishas 
cattle mark, right crop, left vee. (Grandma Mary could remember as a 
young bride on Strong River, she and Jimmie had no cattle mark. They had 
no cattle.) So she said, Lizzie, it sounds to me as if Lisha is ready 
to get married and he expects you to become his wife, to which Lizzie 
replies, He said as much. Grandma, And how did you reply? Lizzie, 
Well, I did not tell him no. I thought you might think he was too old. 
Grandma, Just how old is Lisha? Lizzie, He is 12 years older than I 
am. Grandma, He looks so young, just 12 years; youll never give it a 
second thought.
Then Grandma asked the crucial question: Tell me, Lizzie, how do you 
feel about having a family with Lisha? Lizzie, If we get married, we 
will surely have a family. I do know how to take care of children. 
Grandma, Yes, of course, and, then I will talk to your Pa and tell 
him Lisha has everything ready and that you are willing. Then we can all 
wait for Lisha next Sunday.
So next Sunday, Grandma gets everyone up early, all cleaned up and in 
Sunday clothes. Grandpa Jim met Lisha on the front porch and quickly 
gave his consent and called Grandma Mary and Lizzie. Grandma Mary even 
shed a tear or two, unprecedented for her children to see. Where would 
the wedding be? Lisha, Since Lizzies close friends are in this 
community, we would like to have it here. Grandma, Lisha, we would not 
have it any other way, which was an understatement such as only Grandma 
could make. Who would be the minister? Lisha, I talked to Brother Dan 
Moulder, but I have to send him a post card on the time and place. He 
said he could do it on March 11. Grandma, That would be our choice of 
minister, and that day will be fine.
Then the whole family joined in a Sunday dinner celebration, and Grandma 
Mary made sure each child passed the word to all the family friends. The 
community had recently installed a telephone system, so the news was 
quickly passed from family to family. If Lizzie and Lisha were to 
receive wedding gifts, people must know of the wedding and be invited. 
People all across the Concord Church and Oak Hill School communities 
received the news, with great joy and hope in families with languishing 
old maids. If plain Lizzie Richardson could get a husband, so could they 
all!! Friends began to bring in wedding gifts, a new feather pillow, 
quilts (some Lizzie had helped sew), sheets, kitchen utensils, sewing 
kit, vegetable basket, on and on, all practical things farm people 
needed and treasured.
On the day of the wedding, Brother Daniel Moulder arrived and was 
welcomed as an honorary family member. He had baptized most of the 
children who were old enough. (When I, Granville Hough, decided to be 
baptized at age 16, I went to the nearest church where Brother Dan 
Moulder preached in Simpson County, and he baptized me in 1939 in 
Goodwater Creek as a member of Beulah Baptist Church.) On this wedding 
day in 1911, Brother Moulder probably read a few bible verses and 
performed the simple ceremony with Lizzie and Lishas mutual promises 
and commitments, and they were man and wife. He probably ended the 
service with Mathew 1:6, What God has joined together, let not man put 
asunder. Brother Moulder soon left for other obligations, and visitors 
came for the rest of the day.
Lishas buggy was loaded and he and Lizzie were climbing in when Aunt 
Terry Richardson suddenly realized Lizzie was leaving for good. She 
wanted to go too, and said that where Lizzie went, she went too. She 
made such a fuss that Grandma Mary had to promise Terry that she could 
go live with Lizzie and Lisha as long as she wanted as soon as they 
could arrange a place for her. And indeed she did, and that his how 
Lisha got not only a young wife but a little sister.