[Granville-Hough] 25 Oct 2009 - 28 Apr 2002 - Alzheimer Manifestations

[Trustees for Granville W. Hough]

My wife, Carol Hough, had a younger brother, Carl Steckelberg, who 
travelled a lot after he retired, and he wrote Carol nice one-page 
letters from time to time. He did not seem to understand the nature of 
Carol's illness, and he never came to California to visit.
I tried to explain how things were in April 2002, and in Oct 2002, we 
had to place Carol in an Alzheimer's Home. She died a year later.
In order for others to understand some of the manifestations, I share 
this letter. You may wish to consider: "And there, but for the Grace of 
God, go I."

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28 April 2002

Dear Carl,

We appreciated your letter and update on your activities. For some time 
I have intended to give you an update on our situation. I made a fair 
recovery from heart surgery and get along pretty well as long as I can 
get some regular exercise each day. I have been able to take care of 
Carol thus far, but it is becoming increasingly difficult.
After her second major stroke and brain surgery, she made a partial 
recovery, enough so that she was very resentful about the full time care 
lady we had hired to stay with us. After about a month she rebelled, and 
I had to let the lady go. We did all right until about a year ago when 
Carol began seeing and hearing things which were not there. This has 
progressed to the point where she could probably be diagnosed as having 
Alzheimer's disease. At least the effects seem to be similar.
Carol cannot read, write, or sign her name. She cannot dress or undress 
herself. She has to have someone take her to the bathroom and help her 
clean herself up. She refuses to change into night clothes for sleeping. 
The best I can do is give her a shower each week and change clothes 
twice a week, or as often as she gets the ones soiled she has on. I 
manage to get her shoes off for going to bed, but sometimes she wakes up 
and puts them back on.
There is no question of putting her in a nursing home. (I was wrong on 
this point. Later, I found there were specialty homes for Alzheimer’s 
victims.) No one would take her, or would keep her after learning how 
she reacts. She could be handled in a mental institution of some sort, 
but it would be a very expensive approach. What I am facing is the 
necessity of having a full-time care person stay with her as we started 
out doing after her brain surgery. That is what both David and Bonny 
recommend I do, and it is what I know I must do eventually.
On a good day, Carol listens to music and gets her news hourly by radio. 
We have one music channel, never turned off, which she can handle by 
volume. Volume up, it is on, volume down, it is off. She cannot handle 
the TV at all.
She eats well if I prepare her favorite foods. Sometimes she does 
strange things with her food or silver, putting it in the nearest waste 
basket. We are nearly out of forks, as I do not always find these items 
when carrying out trash. Most jewelry, watches, glasses, etc., are long 
gone, or so well hidden they will not likely be found by search. A few 
days ago, I found some table grapes in the towel cabinet. I asked her 
about them, and she said she was saving them for her little brother, 
Carl, who was always hungry!! One day she cried and cried, and it was 
about something that had happened at Webster school (the grade school in 
Henrietta, OK), and her mother and another teacher had had some words. 
This teacher, Carol said, was the Jewish ex-teacher who lives next door, 
and who actually taught in New York city. Some days I am her father, 
other days David, and other days someone else I never knew.
Almost every day I have to explain the pictures we have of our children 
and grandchildren, who they are, and where they live. She will then 
carry them around in her arms as she would a small baby.
She is not usually unpleasant, except when I try to do something like 
trim her fingernails or toenails or change her clothes. Once each week 
we go to the beauty parlor to get her hair washed and set.
Well, that is how it is. I wonder if your experience with your mother 
was similar. We do get to church every Saturday evening, and we joined 
the Lutheran Evangelical Church, which is probably like the Methodist 
Church was in her youth. It takes me all day to get her dressed. As the 
time in church is short, about one and one-half hours from leaving home 
to return home, we have had no problems. Going out to a restaurant is 
too risky because of the bathroom problem. Few restaurants are set up 
for male caretaker and female patient occupancy.
If you ever want to think about legal problems again, I could probably 
benefit from your advice. I had a brother die in San Antonio 7 Dec 2001, 
and the probate lawyer seems fairly incompetent. My brother had 
dimentia, but he died from anesthesia while awaiting minor surgery. It 
looks as if the widow will be left destitute, though my brother had 
about a half-million dollars a year before.

With our regards, Carol and Granville.