[Granville-Hough] 12 Mar 2009 - Aunt Terry

[Trustees and Executors for Granville W. Hough]

In Memory of Terry (Richardson) Council

I record this memorial in my 83rd year so that descendants of Lizzie and
Lisha Hough will understand the special relationship the Hough family
had with our Aunt Terry (Richardson) Council.. Lizzie was born as the
fourth child and first daughter in 1889 to Granpa Jim and Grandma Mary
(Arender) Richardson. Aunt Terry was born 1902 as the tenth child. My
mother Lizzie, as the oldest daughter, helped out with the younger nine
children of the thirteen. The youngest children, especially Terry,
bonded with Lizzie as much as with their own mother.
Grandma and Grandpa began to fear that Lizzie would become a permanent
nanny for the young children. They began a discreet campaign to find a
suitable husband for Lizzie. This is a remarkable story in itself which
I have told many times. The end result was that the family pastor, the
Baptist brother in Christ, Rev. Daniel Moulder, performed the marriage
between Lizzie and Lisha on 11 Mar 1911 in what is now the Travis home.
Everyone was happy except Aunt Terry, then in her ninth year. When she
realized Lizzie was leaving for good, she cried inconsolably.
Grandma Mary was very much embarrassed, especially in the presence of
all the company from the whole community. For once, she did not know
what to do. She finally told Terry that, if she would just stop bawling,
she could go live with Lizzie and Lisha as long as she wanted, then she
could come home. Then she realized she should have asked Lisha and
Lizzie before she made such promises. Lisha, having heard the
discussion, said he and Lizzie would have to arrange space for Terry,
but they could come get her the next Sunday. To Grandma’s relief, Terry
stopped crying and joined in the wedding festivities. Lizzie and Lisha
got off to their one week of honeymoon. No one realized that Terry was
such a determined little girl that she would not be ready to come home
in two days, or two weeks, or two months, but in something well over two
years.
So Lizzie and Lisha showed up the next Sunday to pick up an anxious
Terry and to return to their home on Little Cohay. When they got to
Lizzie and Lisha’s house, it was an older home they had rented not too
far from the Frank Hough place where Lisha had grown up. It was a simple
dog-trot house with a disconnected kitchen in back, in design exactly
the same as Terry’s home, but with no elegance. (The dog trot design
developed from the availability of pine logs. You built two log cabins
about 8 feet apart and gave them a common roof. Each cabin had its own
chimney for heating. You put the kitchen out back in a separate cabin
because of fire danger from cooking. The dogs lived in the hallway
between the two rooms. If flooring was added to the main rooms and
hallway, you could hear the dogs come trotting by. Hence the name,
“dogtrot." To Terry’s delight and surprise, another family occupied the
hallway, Lisha’s hound bitch, “Spot” (real name forgotten) and her
basket of new puppies.
Spot was an alert mother and very protective of her puppies. She also
knew her duty as a guard dog was to report everything taking place
within sight, hearing or smell.
Of course Terry got the whole room across the hallway from Lizzie and
Lisha, and Spot and her family got the hallway. In order to get from one
room to the other, you had to pass by Spot’s basket. Lizzie and Lisha,
being newlyweds, probably placed Spot’s basket strategically each
evening so there would be no unexpected interruptions. Sixty years
later, in 1972, Aunt Terry could describe vividly how frightened she
became during thunder storms and hurricanes and how cold it got on the
long winter nights. She would open her door a crack and call Lizzie or
Lisha to help her get past Spot’s basket. Then, with her cold feet, she
would get between Lizzie and Lisha and settle down. By the first summer,
Spot’s puppies had grown up enough to clamor to sleep with Terry. These
puppies helped Terry get a lifelong appreciation for ticks and fleas,
quite useful to a nurse.
Now, for Lizzie, going back to this Cohay area was a trip back to the
land of her childhood, and she visited extensively, taking Terry with
her. Terry met cousins she had never known, Bowens, Mayfields, Baldwins,
Roberts, Arenders, Ainsworths, Sullivans, and others. Her Grandma and
Grandpa Arender were still alive and active. She met all the living
Hough family members, as they still used the old Hough family home as
their meeting place. When they had visiting children, they would send
Uncle Elijah Hough, the cripple, to fetch Terry as a guest and playmate.
She actually knew things about the Houghs that Lizzie never heard about.
She was probably much impressed by Lou Hough, the Nurse, who would have
been the first independent professional woman she had ever seen. Of
course they attended church services in the church of Lizzie’s
childhood, as Lisha was Church Treasurer there and a Deacon. At every
church service, there were cousins galore.
Lizzie, Lisha, and Terry visited Grandma and Grandpa Richardson every
month; and of course, Grandma and Grandpa visited Lizzie and Terry to
see what the arrangements were. Grandma wanted Terry back and made some
tentative moves such as making molasses cookies when Terry came; and
Terry calmly informed Grandma that Lizzie was teaching her to cook and
that she could now make her own cookies. So, no help from Terry on that
approach. She suggested to Lizzie that Terry might be getting behind in
school, and Lizzie said Terry was already ahead of her classmates at Oak
Hill, but that she would help her if she had any trouble. So, no help
from Lizzie. Then she appealed to Lisha, who said he was very glad to
have Terry because she went everywhere with Lizzie; and it was safer to
have two women in case there was some trouble, especially as Lizzie was
soon pregnant. So, no help from Lisha. Her direct appeal to Terry gave
this response: “Ma, you promised I could stay until I was ready to come
home, and I am not ready.” Grandma eventually said: “Well, when I see
you coming through the door with all your things, I will know you are
ready to come home.” (It might be said that Aunt Terry was the only
child of the thirteen ever to win an argument with Grandma Mary.)
The next big event in Terry’s life was Harold’s birth on 9 Jan 1912, ten
months after the marriage. Harold was Terry’s baby just as Terry had
been Lizzie’s baby. We always told Harold that the reason he did not
learn to walk until he was 18 months old was because Terry provided
everything he wanted so he had no motive to walk. Then Dueward was born
21 May 1913, and Terry had two babies to help care for.
Of course, Grandma Mary much regretted her public announcement that
Terry could stay as long as she wanted. She knew that Terry was well
cared for and was learning social and family skills. She could see that
she could not entice Terry away from her world of babies, puppies, and
cousins. If she worried, she would not have admitted it. The issue was
finally resolved when Lizzie and Lisha bought some land about a mile
from her parents and moved there in 1914. So Terry was willing to go
back home after nearly three years, and Grandma Mary had kept her
promise. It is probable that Terry spent time with Lizzie when our
sister was born dead in 1914 and Rudolph was born in 1916. I do not
recall any discussions about them.
Aunt Terry’s completing of her schooling at Oak Hill and Mendenhall
Agricultural Boarding School (in the next county), then her college work
at Louisville, KY, where she decided to become a nurse, her subsequent
teaching at Old Hickory in Simpson County, her training at Memphis
Baptist Hospital, and her lifelong work there as nurse and head nurse,
all are covered in her tape-recorded discussion as the tenth Richardson
child.
Terry remained a favorite sister for Lizzie and a favorite aunt for us.
Of course, the older boys and I could remember her as Terry Richardson,
but for the younger ones it was Terry Council. Uncle Ullys Council
showed up in the 1930’s. Our favorite term for him was Uncle “Useless,”
which was our private joke, however unfair it may have been. Aunt Terry
always got a month off in the summer from her work in the Memphis
hospital. She would spend two weeks with Grandpa and Grandma and two
weeks with us. She and Lizzie would can fruit and vegetables and talk,
talk, talk. It always amazed me that two persons, individually so
reticent, could have so much to share. Aunt Terry always got her part of
the freshly canned goods to take back to Memphis with her.
Aunt Terry was the only child of the thirteen Richardson siblings who
did not herself have children. When Uncle Ullys and Aunt Terry visited
us each summer, they stayed in the guest room across the hall from where
we four younger boys slept. We can attest they tried very hard each
summer to get children but to no avail. That was one reason for the
nickname, Uncle “Useless.”
Each one of the seven Hough sons had some special reason to appreciate
Aunt Terry. After a family meeting in 1961, we prepared a letter of
thanks to her for her help and support. All seven of us signed it. I
hope to share this letter with you when I locate a copy.
Aunt Terry lived a life of dedication to others. I have tried to give
some insight into how her life was moulded by the relationships to the
Hough family. These relationships began about a hundred years ago in a
different time and place. I have never heard anyone express the
slightest regret about the way events occurred. Each seemed proud of his
or her role. It was as if everyone believed: “this is how it was, this
is how it was intended to be.” So I ask you to assume different roles
and ask yourself how you would handled the situation if you had been
Grandma Mary? or sister Terry? or sister Lizzie? or husband Lisha? or
guard dog Spot?

Subject: 13 Mar 2009 - Aunt Terry 2

    I did find a draft of the letter we sent to Aunt Terry in August, 
1961.  I cannot recall if or how we amended it, and this may be the 
exact copy of what we sent.

I am also sorry to learn of 
the passing of Catherine (Campbell) Edwards.  I thought she was a fine 
young woman, and I am sure she made Mr. Edwards a good wife.

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Letter to Aunt Terry:

16 Aug 1961
    Your Hough nephews held a reunion with our mother (Lizzie/Mama 
(Richardson) Hough) on 2 July and found her in good spirits and in 
better health than she has been in at many times in her life
    All seven of us agree that you have been most helpful to Mama at 
time in the past twenty-five years when she has been ill.  We know of 
few cases where sisterly love and assistance have been so needed and so 
appreciated.  She has been under stress many times in these years and 
you have been a source of strength to her when she needed support.  She 
enjoys your company and has always improved, mentally and physically, 
while visiting with you.
    When we met in July we decided to record a few of the things that 
been important to Mamma and to us.  Our gratitude to you for your help 
is one of the things about which we feel most strongly.  Mama, we know, 
has always felt the same way.
    We each sign this letter and hope you will keep it as a memorial of 
our appreciation to you.
    With all our love.
    Your nephews (signed by Harold, Dueward, Rudolph, Granville, 
Clifford, Donald, and Roland Hough)