Anxiety, faith, pre-Camino jitters

[Sally Haden]

Dear all
Those of you who have commented on these topics have offered much food for
thought, especially Richard, Glenn and Jason.  So, many thanks!

Anyone who has experienced significant levels of anxiety, fear or panic
knows that such things cannot just be sorted quickly, like a headache.  When
you have them, plus the depression that goes along with extended periods of
such things, they are very overshadowing.  For instance, people say "venga,
¡animate!" (come on, cheer up) or "let go" or "go with the flow" but the
words hardly get heard.

I was struck by your point Richard, that of course going on  a pilgrimage
is an act of faith!  How come I have been overlooking that! It is good to
reflect on it.

But religion doesn't always help me.  I have spent years of my life
contemplating the Buddha, the Cross, Krishna... and so on, and had times of
strong faith.  Then, poof... it's gone.  Not to be seen again, for months or
years. Hey, it's a tricky business.

For me it has been a bit the same with self-help therapy books, counsellors,
groups... Great for a while, then poof.... it's gone again.

However, I am attracted by the Camino because it offers a very strong
physical element, a lot of "doing", which I hope will take away the internal
wondering and worry and faithlessness. It is a very grounded path. It looks
good to me.

So I hope I can cultivate, in my months prior to walking the Camino for the
first time, a feeling that my faith and my plans can get taken care of
without my thinking about them too much, by beginning that physical walking
now.  Which is what I am doing, building up my physiology and my faith
through daily walking.  I am lucky to live near a reservoir in the
countryside and I go there as often as I can.  It seems to be helping a lot.
  And the thought that this is in fact a form of growth of faith is a very
good one!

It makes me wonder if our nervous systems, muscles and brains know a lot
more about "trust" and "confidence" (the definitions of "faith" that Richard
pulled out of his dictionary) than conventional western medicine could
imagine?!

Any more thoughts from others?
Sally
Lancashire, UK

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