Almost

[Doug Tustin]

In "The Art of Pilgrimage", Phil Cousineau states that the most important
thing we can bring back is what we have learned. In that spirit I'd like to
share my experience with you.

Thanks to all of you who have posted what you learned, I was successfully
able to prepare for the trip. My pack at 17 pounds held only the bare
essentials. My shoes were broken in. In fact, I logged 650 miles in my
neighborhood with my pack on and had to buy a second pair. I was able to
take the city bus from the Madrid airport to the bus station, buy a
telephone card, and proceed onto Pamplona, where I got a room at the Hostal
Principe Viana and planned to go onto SJPP the next day.

What followed was totally unexpected, as nothing like it had ever happened
to me before. I am an experienced traveler, have been in Spain recently,
and speak fair Spanish. In the four nights before reaching Pamplona, I had
only slept about 4 hours total, being unable to sleep because of a
gradually increasing sense of anxiety. I didn't even know what I was afraid
of because I was greatly looking forward to being on the Camino. My only
clue of what might have worried me was some dreams I had over the past
months of having my backpack stolen or not being able to find anyplace to
sleep. That night in Pamplona, as a big storm raged, again I was unable to
sleep. The stress symptoms worsened greatly, and I began to fear that I
would lose my ability to cope. The physician part of me saw this, yet I had
nobody to turn to for help. I absolutely could not see the prospect of my
continuing to SJPP. Finally, the only solution I could see was to return to
California the next day. I felt better after making that decision. I was
able to change my plane ticket, and that night I spent in a hotel in
Madrid, sleeping a sound 8 hours.

I feel that, under the circumstances, I made the right decision. The way I
was headed, I was lucky to be able to make any decision. Now, 3 days later,
I'm fine. As I take my pack apart and put things away I am feeling very
sad. With the lessons learned, I'd like to put it right back on and head
back.

Here are the lessons:

1. Find someone to travel with, at least during the difficult parts. I
believe the comfort of simply having someone to talk to would have helped
me and given me the security that I could successfully negotiate a foreign
land, even if I wasn't at my best.

2. Get adequate rest after a transcontinental flight. I should have gotten
a hotel room in Madrid for 1 or 2 days. Sleep deprivation was probably the
major cause of my decompensation, although I didn't recognize it at the
time.

3. Consider using a sleeping medication if you have trouble sleeping after
one or two nights. I was just too stubborn to do that.

4. If there are things that are worrying you about the Camino such as theft
or lack of sleeping accommodations, find people who have been there and
talk this through with them until you are comfortable. This easily can be
done through personal e-mails to individuals on GOCAMINO.

I'd be interested to hear if others have had similar experiences. What
advice would you have to someone in that situation?

Perhaps I'll be able to make the trip next Spring.

Buen Camino a Todos
Doug